It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
