she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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