If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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