I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
