Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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