I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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