That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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