Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
