I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
