Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she told me i tasted like america
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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