i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Actions speak louder than pants.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
That's how pantless uber rides happen
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
