are you so shy because you have an std?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
