Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
