hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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