wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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