I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
