I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
