We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
