thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
