I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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