I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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