Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
