I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
