Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
