The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Green mimosas i think yes
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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