Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
