Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
