If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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