there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
