I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
