please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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