Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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