If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
that's an acceptable place to lick
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
