Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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