I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
