Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
