That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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