pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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