I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
