Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
