I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
