yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
