where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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