i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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