Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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