Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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