You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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