its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
