thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
