you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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