I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
They are going to name an STD after you.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
