Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
