they need to just BURY HIM!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
