i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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