I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
