I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
