your thong is hanging out like whoa
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
