From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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