He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
