The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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