Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
